Holy mother of God, man. We wouldn't trade a dozen sliders and cheese fries for this beast: Shredded cheddar is sprinkled on top of a wicked sausage gravy, which is poured over the omelette itself; there must be at least be four eggs. Inside are a fistful of lightly grilled onions, lots of them; two bales of shredded potato (yes, inside) along with a hefty chunk of sausage (yes, sausage both inside and out.) Those of you worried about a having a heart attack at a young age are advised to forego the interior sausage -- there's enough sausage in the gravy alone for all but the heftiest trucker, and that added sausage grease will still be lubricating your esophagus next Thursday. But you're drunk -- and you're no veggie pansy -- so go for all that sausage, nearly a pig's worth. You can just skip breakfast and lunch tomorrow. (Note: We advise ordering the Country Omelette as though it were a shared dessert -- in some circles, it's eaten as a dessert. Split it among the group and order some OJ, and you're set.)
Now, you've got your choice of pancakes or toast. Go for the pancakes, duh, for maximum value. It's like a bonus entrée. They come with a Granny Smith-size scoop of butter, and you'll need all of it. Go ahead and order a side of bacon, because nothing absorbs sausage gravy like bacon (and, remarkably, vice versa). Wash it all down with a Red Bull espresso, and it's off to the marathon.
To avoid useless fat, check out the best of the meal of the day at WC -- breakfast, if only for the world's best affordable coffee. It's not pretentiously "gourmet," but it's good and hot and, chances are, it moves quickly. The worst thing for coffee is to sit and burn. A large java with a plain cake doughnut -- individually wrapped -- comes to a reasonable $1.11. It's just the right mix of sugar and caffeine to jerk you into alertness. While waiting for a WC employee to pour the coffee into a paper cup with a faux Starbucks logo, don't forget a napkin to wrap around it. Coffee-cup holders are nowhere to be found. But where else could you get good coffee, a government-issue doughnut and a chance to hear a customer at 8:30 a.m. in the drive-thru order chicken rings with melted "cheese"?