Shahid Khan Is Looking Good These Days

Illinois businessman Shahid Khan, during his "Midwestern magnate" phase.
Illinois businessman Shahid Khan, during his "Midwestern magnate" phase.
When last we saw Shahid Khan, he was wishing Stan Kroenke success with ownership of the Rams. It was a magnanimous gesture toward the rival who had pipped him at the post on a business deal, and Khan was the very image of a successful and gracious business magnate. The suit was natty, the tie was perfect; he wore "serious" glasses and had the sharp boutonniere to add a spray of color to the look. And his hair -- his hair was a thicker Jack Donaghy power cut, the kind of coiffure suitable for a man who had the world by the throat.

And then Khan successfully purchased the Jacksonville Jaguars, and the tightly-buttoned businessman succumbed to the party vibes of that beachside den of vice.

Well hello, handsome.

The new, Jax-relaxed version of Shahid Khan.
The new, Jax-relaxed version of Shahid Khan.
The hair -- my sweet Neil Diamond, the hair. You can practically smell the sea breeze when you look at it. He probably swooped into this photo op directly from his Chris-Craft.

I'm reasonably certain he's put together a '70s-style funk band called Shaguar that plays all the team functions and film review sessions, and he plays bass and does the high harmonies. When Shaguar performs "Funky Dollar Bill," all asses in a three-mile radius hit the dance floor.

Shahid Khan is officially the hippest NFL owner, and he's also a bad mutha -- SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

 I'm just talkin' 'bout Khan, y'all.

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