Arty, Soft-Core Childbirth Photo Has a Place, but a Food Blog Ain't It

Feb 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Sandwiched betwixt some tasty treats and faux-Fieri lies some awkwardly staged placebo porn. - Eater.com
Eater.com
Sandwiched betwixt some tasty treats and faux-Fieri lies some awkwardly staged placebo porn.

It takes a lot to make Gut Check lose our lunch. We've had to report some rather icky things in the past, from spicy rolls garnished with semen to, ahem, tainted asparagus. We even ate brains, just to prove we ain't scared.

And sure, our weekly meeting was entirely consumed by a conversation about the not-so-tasty aftermath of digestive cleanses. But we're multi-dimensional, and there's a limit to our fascination with all things yuck, thank you very much. That aforementioned limit falls right around that place where Dr. Oz fondles colons and tiny mammals are excavated from the orifices of larger ones.

Yes, while casually surfing the web for food porn and pouring a refreshing sip of smoothie down our gullet, our eyes were greeted with the above image of a lady human birthing a small, screaming monster. (Bask in the glow of high res childbirth here.)

We have no problem whatsoever with naked folks on the interwebs (that's what the internet's for, right?). Gut Check is body positive, and we love you just the way the flying spaghetti monster made you. We do, however, take issue with the fact that this thumbnail looks like a screenshot from a classy noir porn film, and upon closer inspection (we're only human!) the infant smeared with afterbirth appears. And did we mention we were visiting a food blog? *

In short, we were hungry. Now we're not. And frankly, we're more disgusted by the fact that it's pretty, glossy and awkwardly staged than by the actual content. No stretchmarks? Hair perfectly in place? Dude wearing the expression that we usually reserve for when we're picking up an amazing sandwich?

Whatever. Thanks for reminding us to take our birth control, Eater.

* With this footnote, we acknowledge the irony of sharing our disgust at gross things on a food blog on a food blog. We couldn't resist.