It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest
Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.
Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.
Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.
Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...
Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 8: Milky Way
Yes, we realize that a Milky Way candy bar isn't exactly a Halloween candy (we can snack on one at any time), but fun-sized versions are a treat to find on Halloween night. This candy bar, made up of the perfect ratio of chocolate nougat topped with caramel and wrapped in milk chocolate, is always soft and fresh. With so much chocolate flavor, eating a Milky Way bar feels a bit sinful -- in a good way. In other countries, a Milky Way bar isn't topped with caramel, and removing the caramel turns a Milky Way into a boring Three Musketeers bar. So let's be thankful we're Americans and can enjoy a Milky Way with caramel while dressed like a fool on Halloween.
Click through to reveal No. 8 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...
Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 8: Orange Slices
Whoever invented Orange Slices gummy candies probably thought they stumbled across a genius idea. Take a flavor most people love -- orange -- and top a chewy candy with more orange-flavored sugar. Well, somewhere along the line this idea went awry, and the world was stuck with one of the most boring candy options of all time. Orange Slices are sickly sweet and overly chewy -- probably because they've been on the shelf since 1993. The only people who enjoy Orange Slices are misguided folks who think they're getting a boost of vitamin C from their candy. (You're not.) Do yourself a favor and throw these neon-orange monstrosities in the trash.