What could lure me back to Cheesesteak Quest after I've been fitted for my wedding suit? One word: Bacon. For a limited time only, Sonic is offering what it calls the "Extra-Long Bacon Cheddar Cheesesteak," which I'll henceforth refer to as the ELBCC.
Here. Have a look:
There's so much wrong with the ELBCC that I don't really know where to begin. I'll take it one acronym component at a time.
EL: The ELBCC is about a foot long. Not small, I'll concede. But cheesesteaks are as much about girth as width, and the ELBCC ain't packing. The meat, etc., barely fills the (puny) bun. Note in the picture above how the stuffing tapers off from the middle on one end.
B: The ELBCC does, in fact, have bacon. Which is fortunate, because that bacon is its only saving grace. The two strips are crisp and on the thick side. And they actually have flavor.
C: Sonic promises smoky cheddar cheese. It might be cheddar -- there's not enough to taste, the ultimate cheesesteak sin -- but it certainly isn't smoky, unless you mean "smoky" in the sense that the ELBCC encountered heat at some point in its cooking process, and smoke is sometimes a byproduct of heat.
C: And so we get to the fact that the ELBCC dares call itself a cheesesteak. Apostasy, says I! The ELBCC is an unholy combination of ho-hum meat, not enough cheese, a puny bun, onions and -- gack! -- mayo. And it wastes perfectly acceptable bacon.
The rating, which is entirely dependent on that bacon:
Here's a more appropriate response:
Will the quest continue? A very good question.