Everyone has a new year's resolution, especially the people who jump down your throat and lecture you about how stupid resolutions are. You know they've got 'em, and theirs are probably especially shameful.
Since you don't need to lose any weight (really, you look fantastic!) and you've already quit smoking at least six times, why not focus on something a bit more practical this year?
Resolve to get the most out of your kitchen in 2012 with a little help from your usually-bare-chested-and-always-bare-armed pal Glenn Danzig.
Yeah, there's a Tumblr for that. Helpful Kitchen Danzig is full of culinary and domestic wisdom, offering tips like "Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish," and "Use a meat baster to 'squeeze' your pancake batter onto the hot griddle -- perfect shaped pancakes every time."
The best part? Helpful Kitchen Danzig really is helpful. Did you ever think to stuff a miniature marshmallow into the bottom of your ice-cream cone to prevent messy drips? You can say you did, but we don't believe you. Sure, you could probably find this information in lots of other places on the interwebs, but it's far more entertaining to see these tips emblazoned across a photo of Danzig, arms crossed, perpetually pissed. Enjoy.
