Deadspin Calls St. Louis-Style Pizza "A War Crime"

Mar 5, 2015 at 11:30 am
That shit is fresh. | Caroline Yoo
That shit is fresh. | Caroline Yoo

We're used to people hating on St. Louis-style pizza. Being firmly in camp Provel, we like to give them the benefit of the doubt -- outsiders just don't understand (looking at you, Kimmel). We're also used to people hating on the Cardinals. Deadspin, a national sports/pop-culture website, has taken things to another level today. Columnist Drew Magary -- who's got a long history of despising both the Cards and Imo's -- wrote in an article this morning that St. Louis-style pizza is "a war crime."

See also: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Imo's Pizza

This is too far, sir. May we point out: Provel is a cheese specifically engineered for maximum gooeyness, a delightful combination of Swiss, provolone and cheddar. Mayor Francis Slay stood up for our culinary treasure last year in a letter to an Arkansas middle-schooler.

"To fully understand St. Louis culture, though, is to realize we strive to capture beauty and truth but to do so in ways that appeal to ordinary people. Looking down our noses at snooty people is a civic sport," he wrote. "This spirit may be summed up and explained through the metaphor of a two-word dairy product: Provel cheese. Provel, in other words, like St. Louis itself, is not for everyone. Because it is for everyone."

"King of St. Louis" Jon Hamm has also waxed poetic on the gift to humanity that is St. Louis-style pizza (no, we are not joking). "You want to get the middle piece. Because that's where all the good stuff is," Hamm pointed out to Kimmel. And what does it taste like?

"You can taste the Gateway Arch. It tastes like eleven World Series victories." We think Deadspin needs a visit from Jon Hamm. Or at least his bobblehead.

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