Yesterday, the Hot Dog Bites Pizza was finally available for purchase. Naturally, we ordered one -- a large pepperoni, please don't hold the weiners.
And you know what? It wasn't terrible.
That's not to say it was good. The Pizza Hut pizza tasted almost exactly like the Pizza Hut pizza of our memories -- salty and fairly sauceless. The only difference is that it came ringed with a cluster of wee hot dogs, rolled into a bread-like product that seemed suspiciously like challah bread. Or maybe a Pillsbury crescent roll?
The dogs, of course, are completely gratuitous -- no pizza needs halo of pigs-in-a-blanket to top it off. And some of our taste-testers were totally dismissive.
"I can almost taste the century of animal cruelty that went into this," quoth one RFT staffer.
"These hot dogs are like a war crime, pretty much," was another conclusion.
And yet ...
"I think the hot dog improves it," one open-minded sort reported. "Instead of just getting the taste of salt, you get that warm after-burp taste of hot dogs."
So, there's that.
The strangest thing is that, while no one urged any of us to take seconds, partake we all did. And by the end, it became clear just who the target audience is for these pies.
Second graders, clearly. Really immature second graders.
We ate the whole thing.
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