An introductory sentence on the first annual St. Louis Baconfest's website says it all: "Without bacon life would be sad, food would be boring and the birds would not chirp."
How our fine avian friends would actually react in the presence of so much pig remains questionable, but Baconfest president Matthew Willer is definitely spot on about the former statement -- any avid pork eater will find both happiness (or intrigue, at the very least) on a grand scale at this epic meat fest. How epic, exactly?
To paint the piggy picture for you, a 50-foot-long lattice of hand-woven bacon (about one and a half school buses, by our estimation) gets topped with dry rub, a (not so) healthy helping of Italian sausage, a mound of cooked bacon strips and, finally, a torrential drizzling of Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce.
All 500 pounds of this meaty monster, prepared by River City Casino and Lumiere Place executive chef John Johnson and staff, then gets rolled up sushi-style. Watch him ahem makin' bacon during a trial run in the video below.
On the morning of Saturday, March 23, all 768,000 calories or more of that hog log (yes, that's what it's actually called, currently undergoing trademark) will be hauled across the street by hand to Kiener Plaza (Seventh and Market streets), where it'll get cooked in a custom-built smoker designed by Vatterott College and then divvied up for public consumption.