This ends badly.
8:57 p.m.: We'll be live in just a few minutes. Unless LOST runs late.
9:05 p.m.: Uh... LOST ran 5 minutes late. Apparently, I missed Iron Barley. D'oh. Sorry, Tom Coghill. I did live blog your Food Network appearance.
9:09 p.m.: We don't actually have "St. Louis barbecue," Adam. We have a great bbq joint that happens to be in St. Louis.
9:11 p.m.: This guy is freakin' annoying. Do we get to see more of Mike Emerson than the '86ing the ribs scene?
9:12 p.m.: Brisket description: "Imagine brisket had a baby and it was blessed by God." Hunh?
9:13 p.m.: Please keep this man away from the smoker!
9:13 p.m.: I think Skip Steele wants to kill Adam. I would.
9:14 p.m.: Frito Pie = My wife raising her arms in triumph. Tonight's planned vegetarian dinner suddenly seems...small.
9:15 p.m.: Mike Emerson, you are a good sport. Seriously, though, congrats on getting so much coverage.
Commercial Break Thought: I'm still hung up on the brisket description. Is Richman implying that there are babies that aren't blessed by God? His theology perplexes and disturbs me.
9:18 p.m.: What is happening? Sex clubs?
9:20 p.m.: That man is not "literally" a naughty little monkey, Adam.
9:20 p.m.: Now the actual history of Crown Candy Kitchen.
9:21 p.m.: "Imagine pudding with the slideablility of custard and the coldness of ice cream."
9:21 p.m.: I do approve of "malty"-tasking. But I'm a nerd.
9:22 p.m.: 120 ounces of milkshake in 30 minutes. I hope this kills him.
9:23 p.m.: Seriously, while I appreciate St. Louis getting this attention, these eating contest-style stunts are kinda lame.
9:24 p.m.: Y'all are watching the Top Chef finale instead of this, aren't you?
9:26 p.m.: Adam Richman + Nelly's Walk of Fame star = unintentional comic gold.
9:27 p.m.: He's "chiseling through the milky wall." Ew.
9:28 p.m.: I am seriously scarred for life. That was disgusting, even if it was, uh, censored. That's what you get, Adam.
9:30 p.m,: The Bataan Death March? Oh, Christ. On that note, good night..
