Ten Apple Scandals We Hope to See in Upcoming Dierbergs Ads

Oct 12, 2012 at 7:00 am
Mmmm, hot, sweaty, scandalous...apples!
Mmmm, hot, sweaty, scandalous...apples!

Dierbergs has an ongoing love affair with its own fruit and vegetables. Over the summer we chronicled its ballsy challenge aimed at other grocery stores' cherries -- bigger! cherrier-er! -- but when we took the time to measure the cherries in a highly scientific random sampling at our dining-room table, we found the statistical difference to be negligible.

And so we were delighted to find Dierbergs again creatively showcasing its produce on the front page of this week's ad. This time: apples. And that makes sense. Fall is prime time for this fruit; there's no bobbing for gourds, no caramel-covered cauliflower.

This week's ad copy concerning its Honeycrisp apples reads like something out of the supermarket tabloids: "The Honeycrisp...has become the rockstar of the apple world," it says, citing the foremost authority in all things apple, the Chicago Tribune.

In fact, the article is from the October 10, 2007, edition of the Tribune, meaning that, five years and two days later, the rock-star Honeycrisp's, erm, apple cart has surely been overturned by some younger, cooler fruit, and, depressed, is now set to appear on Celebrity Rehab.

Which got us thinking: What other apples will be touted in Dierbergs' upcoming ads, paparazzi-style?