Throwback of the House: New-Look Cocktail Spreads Defy Color Theory, Flavor Combinations

Lacking fancy fluted molds, I went ball-shaped with garnish bushes.

The red ball didn't magically change colors; it looks like carrot-raisin salad in the round. Who knew such benign ingredients could mix so poorly? Even without the over-salted zombie-flesh-textured dried beef, the alkaline bitterness from the olives overpowered the inherent goodness of cheddar and cream cheese.

The green ball indeed had a greenish tint to it. Who doesn't love that color on a cracker? It also failed as a ball, hovering between liquid and solid state, threatening to absorb the "red" ball on the shared plate. But it was tasty, for a food that looked like green vomit.

Really. I'm not fudging on you like those Good Housekeeping meanies. Go on. Try it. And put some dried beef on it while you're at it. Why, no, we're not laughing at you! Don't be silly.

Robin Wheeler writes the blog Poppy Mom and is a regular contributor to Gut Check. After years of making and eating fancy food, Robin is sick of it all. She's returning to the basics: recipes that haven't surfaced in three decades. She reports on the results every Monday.