Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Hell's Kitchen: Episode 8

Posted By on Wed, May 21, 2008 at 1:50 PM


Jeanette Kozlowski returns to review the new season of Hell's Kitchen, starring her favorite bad-boy chef, Gordon Ramsay.

8:06 p.m. Last week when we left the kitchen of terror and undercooked meat, Gordon Ramsay requested one chef from team red to switch sides. Now we find Louross and Bobby preparing for a new team member as the women try to con the weakest link out. Corey thinks it is Jen. And we hear the line from last week's preview: "Corey is a manipulative ass bitch." That, of course, comes from sassy Jen.

8:08 p.m. Surprisingly, it's Jen who volunteers to go over to the men's team. Corey smile widens.

8:09 p.m. This week's challenge: Given 45 minutes, each team must create four dishes from twenty ingredients, only using every item once. This includes an array of meats, seafood, veggies... and human flesh.

How's that for a tease? More after the jump...

Updated: Now with video!

8:10 p.m. While the red team gets off to a running start, the blue team flounders when Jen takes charge. And now for the human flesh bit: Matt slices the tip of his finger ... off! In this episode's previews, FOX producers make it appear as if the fingertip made its way into someone's dish. But does it really?

8:11 p.m. Ramsay poses a smart question: "Where has the top of the finger gone? You just turned it into a 21-item challenge!"

8:15 p.m. The finger hunt continues on the red side. And the blue side? "We're like a wild pack of dogs," Bobby says. Each team member is only supposed to use an ingredient once, yet two are using onions.

8:17 p.m. Louross ruins the team blue's chances by leaving out the veal. What stops him? He thinks it won't pair well! WTF. Jen suggests he lies. What a conniving little ...

click to enlarge hk8finger.JPG

8:18 p.m. Now it's time to judge the dishes: Christina and Petrozza are both winners. Matt leaves the liver in the quail "which tainted its flavor," Ramsay reports. Jen wins that round. Next up, Corey and Bobby. Corey's dish is too plain. Yet compare it to Bobby's "horrendous" glaze, and she's a winner. Then it's Rosann versus Louross. "Looks very clumsy," he says of Rosann. Chef likes Louross' dish. Except there's one small problem ...

8:21 p.m. "Where's the veal?!" Because of Louross' finicky behavior, the blue team loses. They have to wash the dishes, tablecloths, and other assorted sheets -- all by hand. As the overly formulaic episodes predicts, the winners get to go on a photo shoot for In Touch magazine.

8:23 p.m. Louross sheds tears as Jen cusses under her breath. Boy, did she make a wrong move. When maitre d' Jean-Phillipe teases pissed-off Jen with a live crab, she huffs and puffs even more. "I'm not going to be happy and doing cartwheels," she announces.

8:30 p.m. Jen's not the only one peeved: The rest of the guys aren't happy with Jen and her loud mouth. And the red team "feels like the bully is gone." Ramsay even directly asks the red team in front of her: "What's it like without Jen?" Christina answers: "It's great, Chef."

8:31 p.m. Although Jen might be overbearing at points, at least she knows how to not cut off her body parts whilst cooking. Now that I think about it, did they ever find Matt's skin? Maybe Ramsay ate it. Yeech.

8:32 p.m. "The moment I switched to the blue team, them bitches are backstabbing me!" Jen doesn't like taking the heat from her newfound opponents. She knows she must bring the blue team victory tonight, or it will be her end. Or Louross'. He knows he's being watched, too: "I have to cook like it's my last day."

8:33 p.m. In come the "renowned" critics, who order the same dishes from each kitchen.

8:36 p.m. Ramsay's blood eventually boils during the dinner service (per usual). Matt cooked three different sized tenderloins: a papa, a mama and a lil' baby.

8:37 p.m. The show's narrator booms: "While Matt tries to control his shrinkage..." First a masturbation joke in episode 4, and now a penis joke. One of the FOX writers is seriously perverted! Or hates his or her job...

8:38 p.m. Things go awry for Petrozza at his meat station as well. Ramsay belittles him by barking: "Petrozza, you deserve to lose!"

8:42 p.m. More insults fly when Christina overcooks the salmon. Ramsay tells her, "I really mean that from the bottom of my heart -- shut up!" Then he calls her a lazy cow! That's probably not as painful as what the critic calls her dish "vague."

8:44 p.m. Louross' salmon impresses the critics. Rosann messes up her station again. She makes Gordon "nervous," especially when she doesn't have enough supplies to fill the incoming orders.

8:46 p.m. Petrozza says, "It's remarkable, we are working well together. We are like super blue." Yes, team blue has pulled out ahead of the red team in the dinner-service race. Missing fingertip man, Matt, gives Ramsay "a pile of shit" to inspect before sending out. He then admits he wouldn't serve it himself to the critics. Ramsay goes awol and sends the red team out of the kitchen.

8:52 p.m. "That's what you get, bitches!!!" Jen is redeemed once again.

8:54 p.m. The critics' comment cards kitchen: "food was well arranged; well done." And for the red kitchen? "Sloppy." Ramsay calls Corey the best of the worst -- the one who gets to decide who will go on the chopping block.

click to enlarge hk8uhoh.jpg

8:54 p.m. Corey picks Matt and Rosann. Gordon tells St. Louis homegirl Christina to step forward as well because "she had one bad service, and this is not her first."

8:58 p.m. What?! That's effed up. Did Ramsay make a mistake? He sends Rosann back with the others and then eliminates her.

8:59 p.m. At least we won't have to hear another "I'm gonna to tell my dawwghter" comment. "Unfortunately she just has a big mouth" is Ramsay's final judgment on the Staten Island mother.

Next week:. It looks like the blue team won't be on top for long. Someone sweats in the dishes, and Ramsay says: "I'm going to do something before that never happened before." What, not yell in people's faces? And will we ever pin down the location of Matt's fingertip?! Surely that's a health code violation.

-Jeanette Kozlowski


Tags: ,

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

October 13, 2021

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation