Join Riverfront Times Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Remember "Cum Gum"? Five TV Commercials for Extinct Foods

Posted By on Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 1:30 PM

Page 2 of 2

2. Freshen-up Chewing Gum, 1982 Gum commercials are always about sex. Always. Because what is hotter than someone disguising garlic breath by chomping on a mouthful of rubbery cud? Nothing! Well, unless that rubbery cud has the ability to squirt while being given fellatio by Olivia Newton-John's "Phyiscal"-era body double.

Freshen-up isn't technically extinct. Like all things tawdry, it can be bought wholesale online.

1. Take Five Little Casseroles, 1979 Cooking takes time that can better be spent participating in roller disco. Not everyone had a microwave for quick meals in 1979, and the exotic Asian flavors of Top Ramen in little Styrofoam cups frightened many Americans. Combine the easy prep of ramen with the flavors of good ol' American freeze-dried meat-based casseroles, and people had the extra time and nutritional fortitude required to peel away skintight, sweat-soaked shiny Lycra hot pants at the end of a long day at the rink.

Tags: ,

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.

More by Robin Wheeler

Read the Digital Print Issue

August 12, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2020 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation