Monday, March 22, 2010

Dinner and a Movie: "IMAX Under the Sea" and Captain D's

Posted By on Mon, Mar 22, 2010 at 4:46 PM

They're so darn cute!
  • They're so darn cute!
The movie:
IMAX Under the Sea - St. Louis Science Center Omnimax Theater (5050 Oakland Avenue; 314-289-4400)

The dinner: Captain D's (920 South Grand Boulevard; 314-772-9775), combo plate of fish, fries, hush puppies and lemonade

The screenplate: Convincing a hungover person to surrender to "the Omnimax experience" is tough but doable. Just make sure the documentary features water animals humping and eating each other alive in Omnimax hugeness. Add the thunder of surround sound, then sit so far in front you must look directly up -- no, make that backward. Feelin' nice?
Now cue the narrator to inform you that all these bright sea creatures will die by global warming and that it's our fault. That narrator, by the way, is Jim Carrey, ALLLLLRIGHTY THEN?....Hey, don't get seasick. We'll soon regain our mind/stomach balance. Because later we are going to Captain D's.
For now, we're here to report that Under the Sea, all on its own, is truly a sensory feast.

Fish are so weird. Consider the Wobbegong shark. It resembles a carpet most of the time, except when it's murdering something for food. Did you know crabs sometimes wear jellyfish as protective helmets? Pretty clever!
And did you know some male cuttlefish resemble females, so while other boys are fighting they can sneak in and fornicate with the ladies? That's what we like to call some true "tranny fish lovin'." Only don't say that aloud; nobody will laugh. (You're guaranteed to be sitting next to the most humorless group of second graders ever.)

Carrey warns, in essence, that CO2 emissions are heating up the oceans. That endangers species such as the insanely cute Australian sea lion. But do not fear: By the end of the movie, you'll be certain the human race can redeem itself. That's because during closing credits, one hears a remake of the Beatles' "Octopus's Garden" that, unlike the original, doesn't make anybody throw up.
Now then: Time for some Captain D's!

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