Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Get a Doublicious In Exchange for Your Vuvuzela (and Other Ridiculous Fast Food Fad Swap Ideas)

Posted By on Tue, Jul 20, 2010 at 11:00 AM

click to enlarge IMAGE VIA
It's been just over a week since Spain took the World Cup, and the rattling buzz of the vuvuzela is finally fading to a mild case of tinnitus.

No one ever wants to hear that sound again. So what to do with your now-useless horn? KFC wants it. Send your used vuvuzela to KFC's corporate headquarters, and the company will send you a coupon for a free Doublicious.

What the hell is a Doublicious? It's not the dubious Double Down. Instead, it's a less-deranged sandwich featuring a chicken filet on a sweet Hawaiian bun. KFC says, "It's a one-of-a-kind taste combination."

Because no one has ever combined fried meat with slightly sweet bread. Ever.

Fast food trends come and go as fast as any other ridiculous fads. Swapping junk that has lost its novelty for a food item that willl soon be passe seems like a fair trade. The fast food giants should have been doing this for years.

Hardee's Huskee Jr., 1972
There's nothing wrong with the Hardee's Huskee Jr. As defined, it's a bun, two beef patties, cheese, lettuce and sauce. But with a name that's the same as the euphemism for chubby boy pants, the product's going to be as dead as vaudeville.

Swap your Toughskins for a Huskee Jr.! After a few, you won't be wearing those size 34 flares anyway.

Taco Bell's Bellbeefer, 1970s
Taco Bell didn't always think outside the bun. In the '70s, it was entrenched in the bun. Hence the Bellbeefer, in which the taco franchise dumped the ingredients of its tacos onto hamburger buns. That's probably why it didn't work. Fast food works when it's made from a few ingredients rearranged to make different dishes. Why dump crap on a bun when it's already dumped into taco shells, tortillas, tortilla chips and fried tortilla baskets? A bun's just overkill.

By 1979 the Bellbeefer didn't even make the cut in the commercials.

Taco Bell might bring back the Bellbeefer if we all send in our pet rocks. The ultimate '70s fad espoused the make-do-with-what-you-have ethos. Toys? You don't need toys, not with a driveway full of gravel! Just like you don't need a bun with a kitchen full of tortilla products.

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