Monday, January 31, 2011

Stuff It! Giant Jalapenos Enter the Giant Stuffable Food Market

Posted By on Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 8:00 AM

The new jalapeno variety is medium hot with large fruit. - PAUL BOSLAND
  • Paul Bosland
  • The new jalapeno variety is medium hot with large fruit.

Because the average jalapeno pepper isn't big enough to hold nearly as much cheese as we'd like, the New Mexico State University chile pepper breeding program has genetically engineered the 'NuMex Jalmundo'. It's a hybrid between a jalapeno and a bell pepper, created specifically to meet our giant cheese-stuffed pepper demands.

Not that this genetic hybridization is new; it's just the first time we've seen it done solely for cheese-stuffing purposes. There's a world of giant produce being grown just for bragging rights. These backyard beasts need higher purposes. Like cheese delivery.

Carolina Cross Watermelons The pride of Hope, Arkansas - presumably after Bill Clinton, depending on who you ask - these watermelon farmers have specialized in fruits tipping the scales upwards of 200 pounds. Looks great in a truck bed!

Party at Bill's place! - GIANTWATERMELON.COM
  • Party at Bill's place!

Stuff it with: several hundred gallons of homemade hooch. The sweet melon will ease the bite of Granddad's White Lightening.

Kelsea Sweet Giant Onions It's the biggest onion in the world, with one clocking in at over 15 pounds.

Bloomin' awesome! - REIMER SEEDS
  • Reimer Seeds
  • Bloomin' awesome!

Stuff it with: a shitload of beer batter and hot grease, because one Outback Steakhouse Bloomin' Onion doesn't pack enough killer heartburn power. Atlantic Giant Pumpkins: The late Howard Dill created the original Atlantic Giant, the world's largest variety of pumpkin that usually weights over 200 pounds. Other Dill family creations have surpassed the 1000 pound mark.

  • Dill's Atlantic Giant
  • Where's Bozo?

Stuff it with: clowns. It's bigger than a Volkswagon and would make the most traumatizingly scary jack o'lantern ever.

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