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Friday, April 22, 2011

Six Classic Commercials to Kill Your Love of Easter and Candy Forever

Posted By on Fri, Apr 22, 2011 at 1:00 PM

Let's celebrate Jesus' resurrection by gorging on candy! Makes perfect sense. There were Cadbury Creme Eggs in the cave when they rolled away the rock on the third day, right?

Probably not. But that's not going to stop us, or the great American marketing machine that has created some of the most adorably sweet commercials for the sweetest of holidays.

And some of the most horrifying.

We're not sure Jesus would do it this way.

6. M&M's set the standard for tooth-rotting adorability and good manners in Easter advertising. Bawk! Bawk!

5. Cadbury has been doing the inter-species thing for years, still airing the same Creme Egg commercials with rabbits making non-rabbit noises. In the early '80s, they got their Mini Eggs in on some cute but chirpy action.

4. Then Fannie May had to get sadistic, denying a cute little bun-bun his candy. Assholes!

3. Carvel ice cream just had to bring a creepy, squeaky, chatty little duck ice cream cake to the party. Call the toll-free number and this little freak is all yours! They accept all major credit cards. Except Visa, MasterCard and American Express.

2. We're not sure who this Mary Sue person is. What we do know is she's a sociopath who's willing to make children scream in terror by threatening to Big Wheel a bunny, just to sell some off-brand chocolate eggs.

1. Seeing the horror M&M's cooked up with its "Holidays" line will make you long for tire tread in bunny fur.


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