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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Unlikely Food Product Names: "Golden Smell" Edition

Posted By on Thu, Mar 29, 2012 at 8:00 AM

As part of our lifelong commitment to self-edification, Gut Check subscribes to a plethora of e-mail lists generated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the result being that our brain is hopelessly saturated with information that's of infinitesimal use to us (along with just about everyone else). So much for self-edification, right?

Every once in a while, though, out of the endless parade of obscure cyber-alerts pops what our dear departed Uncle Larry might have called "a real pip." (He was something of an Anglophile.)

Like this, which we received yesterday afternoon:

Strong America Ltd. Issues an Alert on Undeclared Sulfites in Golden Smell

Truth be told, that's not the complete headline. Before we continue, would you care to take a stab at guessing what food product bears the proud name "Golden Smell"?

If you answered Dehydrated potato powder, you are a winner!

It might surprise you to learn that "Dried Potato" isn't among the many staples currently taking up space in the Gut Check pantry. But the substance does recall the period during our teen years when the mater familias developed an affinity for Betty Crocker Potato Buds; upon reflection, this likely was not due to a taste for freeze-dried spuds on her part but rather a utilitarian attraction to a conveniently packaged (and lightweight) source of calories that could be reconstituted by even the stonedest adolescent (to which title Gut Check may not have been able to lay claim, but let's just say we were in the running):

Scald milk + butter. (+ butter.) Add Potato Buds. Stir. Ingest fat-soaked carbohydrates.

Peering back through memory's smeared lens, we can still make out the big brown box of Potato Buds on the shelf in the cupboard, sharing real estate with packages of ramen noodles too numerous to count.

The potential hazards of undeclared sulfites are a topic for another day (and, let's be realistic, another blog). What we'd like to know is, which cog in the Strong America Ltd. corporate apparatus greenlighted "Golden Smell"?

Yes, it's a Chinese company, and yes, we've seen those lists of crazy translations U.S. movie titles get when they're sent abroad.

As far as we know, no Hollywood blockbuster has been released on foreign shores as Golden Smell. (Yet.)

Sad to say, the product name doesn't appear anywhere on six-ounce packages of Dried Potato, at least not in English.

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