Wednesday, January 30, 2013

8 Flavors Ben & Jerry's Should Consider For Its New 30 Rock Ice Cream

Posted By on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 9:15 AM

Yesterday Gut Check learned that ice-cream chain Ben & Jerry's will release a new 30 Rock-themed ice cream tomorrow to coincide with the show's series' finale airing tomorrow night.

Until its official unveiling tomorrow afternoon the 30 Rock flavor is being kept under wraps, which left us curious, if not eager to suggest a few directions Ben & Jerry's could -- or maybe should -- take.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but we here at Gut Check think any of these eight ice cream flavors would make fitting salutes to our beloved 30 Rock.

See also: -Put Down The Night Cheese -- Ben & Jerry's Announces New 30 Rock Ice Cream -Saying Goodbye to Liz Lemon, Banisher of Food-Shame

Werewolf Soy-Mitzvah (Spooky, Non-Dairy) At some point before starring on TGS, Tracy Jordon earned a gold record for a novelty party song he recorded called "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah." The song's straightforward chorus never fails to delight: "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah/Spooky, scary/Boys becoming men/Men becoming wolves."

Applied to ice cream, the novelty party song sees ice cream become non-dairy for lactose-intolerant, vegan or simply adventurous 30 Rock fans.

Cheesy Cake Blasters Liz Lemon loves cheese. If you want to buy her a drink at a bar, she'd prefer you buy her mozzarella sticks. She serenades cheese in a song called "Night Cheese" set to the tune of Bob Seger's "Night Moves." If you take her to a restaurant where the hors d'oeuvres are boxes of pure oxygen infused with saffron and white truffle oil she's going to call Jack and say she'd rather be at home eating a block of cheese. Liz's dentist had to print a special pamphlet just for her titled "Hard Cheeses and Your Root Canal, Liz," because, in his words, "It was expensive, but I'm really tired of discussing this with you."

And none of that begins to cover her obsession with Cheesy Blasters or its cartoon cat mascot, Meat Cat. Unfortunately science hasn't found a way to combine hard cheeses and ice cream (dammit all to hell, science), but cheesecake makes a reasonable substitution. Thus, we submit Cheesy Cake Blasters would make an excellent 30 Rock ice cream flavor.


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