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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

No Reservations: Gut Check's Valentine's Day Fast-Food Experiment

Posted By on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

Page 3 of 8

Popeyes Popeyes: Popeyes, how may I help you?

Riverfront Times: Hello, I'd like to make a reservation for my employer for Valentine's Day.


Do you have any openings around 7:30?

[Silence] Nooooo. This is Popeyes. We don't make reservations.

Oh, you don't? All right. He told me he wanted to eat there, so I just assumed that I could. So he should just come in on Valentine's Day, then?


All right. Are you expecting a large crowd? Should he come early?

Are we expecting a large crowd?


I'm not really sure. It's just based off the day.

Will you have any specials for Valentine's Day, then?

No, ma'am, just our normal specials.

Oh. I thought.... The "Naked Tenders Combo" -- that's not for Valentine's Day?

No, ma'am. That's an everyday thing.

I just read the name and assumed it was. I feel silly! Do you have fried oysters?


You don't?

Do we have what?

Oysters. Do you have oysters?

No, we don't.

OK.... He told me that he and his girlfriend had their first date at a Popeyes, so that's why they're going back. And he wants to propose to her, so he was wondering if he could...if it would be possible to hide an engagement ring in something. Like a bowl of beans or something?

I'd have to ask my manager. That's over me. I'm not really sure about this.

Will you have valet parking?

No, ma'am.

You don't? OK. Well if he wanted to make it more romantic, could he bring some candles for the table?

I don't think so. I don't think we can actually allow that.

Are you afraid it will set the tablecloths on fire or something?


Um, all right. Well. I will let him know. So you're sure no reservations are needed?


Thank you so much.

Next...Long John Silver's: No oysters, no lobster, no dogs allowed.

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