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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

No Reservations: Gut Check's Valentine's Day Fast-Food Experiment

Posted By on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

Page 4 of 8

Long John Silver's Long John Silver's: Long John Silver's, this is _____.

Riverfront Times: Hello, I'm calling on behalf of my employer. He wanted me to make a reservation for him for Valentine's Day, around 7:30.

We -- we don't do reservations.

You don't? All right. Are you anticipating a large crowd for Valentine's Day, then?

No, we're not.

Do you have any specials?

We have our current, everyday specials, but we don't have any specials on Valentine's Day.

Oh. No oysters or anything?

No, we don't.

You know what they say about oysters -- 'cause oysters are, like, an aphrodisiac.

No, we don't have any.

How about lobster?

No.

He loves Long John Silver's, because that's where he and his girlfriend went on their first date, and he wants to propose to her. So he was wondering if he could hide an engagement ring in a hushpuppy or something.

Yeah, you could do that. Just let us know when you come in.

All right. Speaking of hushpuppies actually, he also wanted me to ask.... They're very attached to their dog. Could they bring him along? He's very quiet.

We don't allow dogs or animals in the restaurant.

Well, that makes sense. If he wanted to make it more romantic, could he bring some candles for the table?

Yeah, that would be OK.

And he could bring a tablecloth also?

Yeah.

Do you have any wine for Valentine's Day?

We don't, I'm sorry.

That's fine. So then he should just come in? He doesn't need a reservation?

No.

I will let him know. Thanks.

Next...Arby's: The molten lava cake. Definitely the molten lava cake.

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