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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

No Reservations: Gut Check's Valentine's Day Fast-Food Experiment

Posted By on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

Page 7 of 8

Hardee's Hardee's: Can I help you?

Riverfront Times: Hello, is this Hardee's?

Yes, it is.

I would like to make a reservation for my employer and his girlfriend for Valentine's Day.


Around 7:30?

OK. Hold on one second. I'm a little bit unfamiliar here. You want to reserve a space to eat, or...?


OK, um, how many people will be coming?


Oh, OK. We don't actually have, like, a Valentine's Day spectacular or anything like that. Is that what you're thinking it was?

No, he just wants to eat there. They had their first date there three years ago. And actually, he's hoping to propose to her.

Holy crap, that's awesome!

Yeah! He wanted me to ask if you could bake an engagement ring into an apple turnover or hide one in a hamburger or something if he brings it to you.

Um, that may be interesting. I'm kind of open-minded to it, as long as we're all on the same page.


I don't want somebody to choke on it and end up with an accident or something.

No, no, of course! Maybe in a drink? Like a milk shake?

I'm sure we could work something out. [To another employee: Are you working Valentine's Day?] I'll tell you what. I need to -- we just got done getting beat up real good on this sausage-egg deal for this "Rise and Shine" today, and we're actually trying to wrap these numbers up and all that stuff right there. Um, I got me a pen here. What's your name?


Catherine. What number can I reach you at, Catherine?

OK, it's 314-754-5966.

And that is for 2-dash-14. That's actually next week.

Yes, I know! He wanted me to call and find out. I guess I just assumed that you made reservations, and I was worried that he wouldn't be able to get in.

Well, there are plenty of tables here. It's one of those things where if people would like to come in and set something up to where it was, you know, spectacular like that, I would be more than willing to offer him that area. And we can definitely work with the guy and help him out. Sounds pretty neat.

Now, I've seen your advertisements on TV, and I was wondering, do you actually have waitresses who look like Kim Kardashian or Kate Upton?

No, I don't, actually.

That might make his girlfriend uncomfortable.

I just want to make sure we're on the same page, because White Castle actually does do something....

Yes, I believe I've heard of that.

It is Hardee's that you're calling.


Yeah, I think we can work on something with him. Is he maybe planning on coming in earlier in the day to do anything spectacular? Like setting things up or anything?

Sure, he could do that.

OK, terrific. You said this is your boss?

Yes. Will you have valet parking or anything?

I don't.

And will you have drink specials?

I want to make sure I'm on the right page here. You are calling Hardee's.

Yes. I'm sorry, I've never been to a Hardee's.

Well, we're a quick-service restaurant. So, you know, there's a drive-through, there's a lobby. I mean, it's not anything extravagant. But you know, if it's something special where they met, it's definitely what would work out good for them.

OK, well thank you very much. I will let him know.

Thanks, Catherine. Have a great day.

Next...Sonic: "If they roll up the windows of the car, will people come bother them after they're done eating?"

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