A Quick Note to 2013 About 2013 and Also 2014

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++Find the guy from this Vine and give him all of everything? I probably watched it close to 100 times, and it's only ever gotten funnier and better. Everything about it is wonderful.

++Leave J. Cole in 2013? That'd be just swell. I still remember listening to Born Sinner. What a total chore that was. I remember it because I died from it giving me mega-narcolepsy. Please donate to those with mega-narcolepsy and please stop J. Cole from afflicting hundreds of thousands more with it in 2014. He is our nation's greatest threat.

++Tell Kanye to stop talking for, like, 30 minutes? Thanks.

++Help Future survive Rich Homie Quan and help Drake survive Kendrick Lamar for at least one more year? It feels a lot like we're standing at the precipice of a revolt of sorts in that Rich Homie Quan's aggressively unpolished charm has dulled some of Future's auto-luster and that Drake has somehow begun stepping towards Not That Exciting and Kendrick Lamar is standing behind him prodding him with a metal poker. (This, I'm hoping, is little more than paranoia on my part. Drake has my heart.)

++Give Miley Cyrus a stomach flu up until maybe somewhere around July or something?

And I guess that's it. I don't know. I'm probably (definitely) missing a bunch of stuff, but let's start with these. Thanks so much. You're great. You were great. You're gonna be great.


Oh, P.S., also please don't let white people do blackface in 2014. That one too.

Oh, P.P.S., also please make sure that the Outkast reunion happens in 2014, too. I'll swap that one out for White People Doing Blackface, if it's an either/or situation. Thanks. Be easy.


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