Remember when you promised that this wouldn't happen to you? What happened? You weren't going to get old. You used to rawk. And if rawkin' you from five years ago could see you now, know what he'd do? That's right, he'd kick your ass.
Don't worry, though. Just make your way down to the Hi-Pointe on Monday, and the Gaza Strippers will kick your ass for you. Helmed by former Didjit and Supersucker Rick Sims, the Gaza Strippers play the kind of fast-and-loud-and-dirty rock & roll that sprang from '60s garage rock, got filtered through the Stooges and broke down the barriers between punk and garage and maximum R&B until all that was left was a boiling black mass of pure musical exhilaration.
The Strippers have a few good albums, including last year's Electric Bible: The New Testament, but this is the kind of music that needs to be heard live. And when was the last time you were out all night on a Monday? Go check out the Gaza Strippers. Sure, you'll hate yourself Tuesday morning. But you'll love yourself Monday night.