Getting Over Your Fear of Karaoke

Getting Over Your Fear of Karaoke
Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing [email protected] or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

I know a guy who only sings TV theme songs at karaoke. What the hell is up with that? -- Sha-la-la-laaaaa

Please pass my Twitter handle to that dude. I looooooove TV -- especially old TV. Except for a few current shows, I pretty much watch only what's on the Antenna TV and Me TV channels. I'm living off of a steady diet of "The Brady Bunch," "Dragnet" and "All in the Family," so if someone starts singing TV theme songs, I'm obviously going to become mooney-eyed. Of course, by admitting this, I'm also diminishing my chances of ever getting laid again, so there's that.

But TV themes in a karaoke setting? That doesn't work for everyone. While I might be getting all flushed behind the rig as someone performs "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You," most of my audience is groaning or heading outside for a cigarette. I presume that your "Saved by the Bell"-singing friend feels the way I do and simply is oblivious to the crowd turning on him. Gently advise the Alan Thicke wannabe to mix a few radio singles into his act (No, the full-length version of the "Scrubs" theme does not count) and save the all-TV nights for special occasions. Like, I don't know, a date with me.

If that fails, console yourself with knowing that most TV theme songs are over in less than a minute. It's really a lot like... well... just read the next question.

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