Haiku You

Who says a record review can't be a piece of poetry?

One week into 2003, and Radar Station's positively buzzing with New Year's resolutions. In fact, we have almost as many resolutions as we have local CDs in the still-to-be-written-about pile. We'd like to transfer as many of them as possible to the somewhat smaller already-written-about pile before another year goes by or a nuclear war destroys the planet (whichever comes first), so the time seems nigh for a local CD roundup. For no good reason, we opted to submit the capsule reviews in haiku form this time around.

Benji, Second Best Record of the Year
([email protected])
Wistful steel-town dudes
Say they love the Replacements
Sorry, Ma: too clean

A Picturebook of Saints, Second Thoughts and Chances
Emo, punk, hardcore?
Labels are so constricting
They just want to rock!

Polaris, Rock & Roll Band
For this close-cropped band
Mullets are a state of mind
Huey Lewis lives.

Devastation Clic, Universal
(Black-A-Moor Records)
Eleven rappers
Excuse me: That's "thug niggaz"
Can't redeem stale beats

Stacey Kaid, All Alone
Of course she can sing
Almost as well as Toya
Remember Toya?

The Red Book Standard, Red Rocket
Turntables frighten
When combined with loud guitars
Look out Crazy Town!

Hard Knox, This Is Real
(Mo' Dirty Records)
Reppin' U. City
Midwest via Dirty South
Hustlin', pimpin' ... yawn

Pinkeye D'Gekko, Rhythm and Westrn
"Beck meets Bob Dylan"
Or so sayeth the press kit
Who writes these damn things?

Maxtone Four, Maxtone Four
Hey there, Rick Springfield!
Look what you've wrought, you asshole
These hooks are airbrushed

Mike C., One Universe
Marketing target:
The female demographic
Tank tops sell records

Perennial RFT Music Award winners the Murder City Players have augmented their lineup with several new members. According to keyboardist Jeff Schneider, the group "can now truly capture the sounds of vintage Jamaican music -- ska and rock-steady styles." Catch these veterans (their twentieth anniversary's coming up this year!) at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room on Saturday, January 11, with opening act Deal's Gone Bad, a nine-piece from Chicago.

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