Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth have separated after 27 years of marriage and now the future of the band is unknown. Their record label released this statement last Friday:
Musicians Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore, married in 1984, are announcing they have separated. Sonic Youth, with both Kim and Thurston involved, will proceed with its South American tour dates in November. Plans beyond that tour are uncertain. The couple has requested respect for their personal privacy and does not wish to issue further comment.
It feels kind of gross to discuss this news. (And not just because the couple requested privacy.) It's weird to think about their separation because Gordon/Moore were not just the biggest couple of the alternative generation but because they were also the most respected. To the outside world, they had the perfect relationship. They were in love, married with a talented daughter, and together they were one half of the greatest indie rock band in history.
But they never flaunted their bond. They weren't always holding hands in band photographs or anything like that. In fact, in the beginning of the band, they seemed to make a point to stand apart from one another. Because of the careful, private way they carried their love, they seemed untouchable. And strong. They were held up by admirers as the perfect rock and roll couple, an example of how cool love and marriage could be.
Fans and journalists alike were respectful of their relationship. I've interviewed both of them, and I never had the balls to ask either of them about the other. In our conversation a couple of summers ago, Gordon brought up Moore and was very complimentary about him. She also spoke about her daughter, but it still felt inappropriate to ask her too much about her home life. It felt like prying -- like if I got her to talk about it that I would be tricking her into doing something that I knew she didn't want to do.
And, really, there was no reason to ask about her home life. Both Gordon and Moore are prolific musicians, writers, poets and artists. There's plenty of interesting ground to cover. Together and separately, they are both workaholics, releasing a staggering amount of art in various formats. One of their accomplishments together is the release of seventeen studio albums in the bands 30-year career.
And any fan who has listened to the last few albums could have made predictions of this breakup. It would be a mistake for any outsider to claim that that these songs are autobiographical, but there is a definite story arc from "I Love You, Golden Blue" through to "Turquoise Boy" then "Antenna" and "Massage the History" on the bands last release, The Eternal. The last few albums seemed more somber, more contemplative.
Combine that with the fact that the other Sonic Youth band members, Steve Shelley and Lee Ranaldo, seemed to be actively building other lives for themselves outside of the band, and the potential demise of Sonic Youth doesn't seem too shocking. Shelley is all set up as the drummer for Chicago-based band Disappears, and he's been touring with them for a while. It would be easy to change the category on the Disappears from "other" band to "primary" band. And Ranaldo is suddenly everywhere. He's started an official Facebook page, he's making music and his website has become increasingly active- most notably with his photojournalistic endeavors. Ranaldo's posts his photos on his website and it has become one of the best sources for his on-the-street documentation of the Occupy Wall Street movement.
Gordon has been absent lately. Laying low, one would suppose. Moore had a personal blog where he would post his writings, photos of his daughter, tributes to poets he admired, etc, but the blog was deleted over the weekend. Moore is still active publicly, even conducting a thoughtful, funny interview with Henry Rollins about his new book on the day of the announcement.
Yes, the separation is hard on the fans, too. And that's unfair to Gordon and Moore, but it's the truth. It's a lot of weight to put on one couple. Before, fans would think to themselves: Maybe my parents got divorced, maybe I just got dumped, maybe my marriage is a disaster, but Kim and Thurston were still together- so true love exists! Now admirers must accept that Gordon and Moore are just like us. Not an infallible supercouple, but two people who also have to deal with the consequences of unraveling love. (And if you think your ex won't go away, try being together for 30 years, being known world-wide and having to deal with nosy journalists and fans.)
But perhaps Gordon and Moore can still be our role models. But instead of being part of the relationship that we most glorify, they can be an example to show us how to handle even the biggest, messiest, most heart-breaking of breakups with dignity.
And while they are unique in their place in fans' hearts, but there have been quite a few other separations between couples who made music together. Below we explore some other famous inter-band rock and roll relationships with breakups and the outcome of each.
4. Jack White and Meg White of the White Stripes
These peppermint-colored cuties hit the scene in the late '90s as a catchy throw-back garage duo. Back then they claimed that they were brother and sister, which was believable enough given their shared look -- alabaster skin and black hair. As it turns out, they were husband and wife. They'd been married for a few years and actually divorced in early 2000, just as the White Stripes were getting super-popular. Jack later said that he invented the sibling story (and a few other fake back-stories) so that the press would focus on their music rather than their relationship. It was the opposite of Fleetwood Mac. Instead of exploiting their relationship, they denied it altogether. This, of course, just made fans all the more curious and throughout their career their exact relationship was the source of much speculation. The White Stripes officially disbanded early this year, but the Whites seem to have an okay relationship. Both had remarried and Meg even had her wedding ceremony in Jack's backyard. Just this summer Jack announced his divorce from his second wife, model Karen Elson, but relationship downers don't seem to put a dent his productivity. Jack's latest band is alt-rock supergroup the Dead Weather and he continues to play with the jaw-droppingly talented Brendan Benson in the Raconteurs.