Minor League Cardinals Team Very Sorry Corey Feldman Ruined Everything

Screenshot from the video.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Wait, is "mighty" the right word?

The State College Spikes, a Pennsylvania-based minor-league baseball team affiliated with the Cardinals, want you to know they are very sorry for letting 44-year-old child star Corey Feldman perform with his band, Corey's Angels, at a recent game.

The State College Spikes would like to apologize to our fans for Corey Feldman's appearance last night at Medlar Field at Lubrano Park. While the nature of the appearance was not what we had anticipated for the evening, we would like to apologize to all fans who may have been offended by its content. We would also like to apologize to our fans for the appearance being so far below expectations.

We at the Spikes thank you for your support, and we pledge to present the best entertainment each and every night for the remainder of the 2015 season and beyond.

The logo for Corey's Angels, which looks exactly as much like a tumor-riddled penis with wings as it does a silhouette of a quadruple-amputee angel-woman with a ponytail.

According to the Centre Daily Times of Pennsylvania, Feldman was hired to interact with fans and participate in meet-and-greets. The plan was to replicate the success of a similar event from last year -- a "Retro Night" for which actor Alfonso Ribeiro, who played Carlton on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, made an appearance.

"He simply did not want to do any of that," Spikes general manager Scott Walker told the Centre Daily Times. "We went from the nicest guy in the world to something else."

Feldman apparently was more concerned with promoting his new band than shaking hands and signing autographs. Dressed as Michael Jackson, for some reason, and flanked on each side by ladies wearing less-than-family-friendly attire, Feldman flailed through a cringeworthy performance that was met largely with blank stares and palpable boredom from the small crowd that gathered (make sure you stick around for the "bad MJ moves" breakdown at the two-minute mark).

For his part, Feldman thinks the backlash is undeserved:

@NovaSinclare @Complex_Sports it was like working w The 3 Stooges! Everything was done wrong, and we get the blame?!? Lol!

— Corey Feldman (@Corey_Feldman) July 20, 2015

One mystery left unexplained is the team's belief that anybody would be interested in a Corey Feldman autograph in the year 2015. SNAP! Sorry Corey, we'll be nice now.