My Girlfriend's Breasts Are Too Small. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste


The other day I decided to call an old friend to catch up. From the moment she said hello she went on a diatribe about how I don't call her or come to her house anymore since I married my husband. Granted, I don't call as much and have only been to her house once in the past year, but the coin she's flipping has two sides. I told her that she didn't have to wait on my call. If she wanted to talk she could have called me first. And why do I have to be the one driving across town?

Just thinking about it has my mind going all the way back to the beginning of our friendship. I've always been the one to make the first move. Whenever we went anywhere we usually took my car and I drove. If we were shopping and she was short on cash or didn't have money, I was the one who pitched in. We have 15 years of history and she is the sweetest person, but I'm starting to think she's a user; at the least she's taking me for granted. How do I address this issue and remain friends with her?

Two Sides:

When people claim to be your friend and the only time you get to speak to them is when you call them first or they need something, that's code for, "I don't value your friendship the way you value mine." It's also a sign of selfishness. You already addressed the issue when you told her she could have called you first and when you put her on blast about having to drive across town. Now whether she wants to remain friends or not, that's on her.


Dear Willie D:

My girlfriend is beautiful, smart and fun to be around. But if she had bigger boobs she would be perfect. I told her a few times that I think she should have her breasts augmented but she is afraid of surgery and the possible side effects.

I told her she has nothing to worry about and that I would even pay for the surgery but she won't budge. To get back at her I might not call her or answer my phone for three or four days. Then I'll finally pick up and halfheartedly kick it with her for a few days and start the cycle all over again.

I really want her to get the surgery. What can I tell her to convince her that she has nothing to be afraid of? Help a brother out, Willie!

Boobs Man:

I don't know what some men's fascination is with boobs. They don't do anything. I understand how important they are for women cosmetic-wise and if a woman wants them fondled during foreplay and intercourse because it arouses her, I get that. But implants take the sensation out of breasts so I really don't see the point in augmentation. That's like cutting off your hair to wear a wig.

Kill the sixth-grader games of going days without calling your girl because she won't let you pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to do. If you can't accept her for who she is you're not seeing the real her. You should be proud to have a girlfriend who refuses to let society dictate her image.

She sounds like my type: beautiful, smart and fun to be around. Keep playing and the next time you go without calling her for three-four days I might answer her phone while she's lying next to me... in her birthday suit... exhausted.

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