BY NICHOLAS PHILLIPS
1) Ever wake up drenched with vomit, in a trashed hotel suite, spooning a prostitute?
2) Suffering from aches and pains associated with guitar solo splits; bar fights; jail hangovers; and/or coke orgies?
3) Has sunlight become an abstraction?
4) Do you play the guitar?
If you answered "yes" to the foregoing, you're a face-rockin' rock-'n'-roller. But there ain't no need to live like Nikki Sixx. Rosewood Chiropractic Clinic in East Alton, Illinois, is putting on a free "Rockstar Workshop" on June 11th at 7 p.m. A press release says that discussion will apparently cover "ergonomics, posture and stretching as well as...overall health and nutritional advice for musicians of all calibers and ages." The emcee, Dr. Andrew W. Dykeman, probably knows whereof he speaks. He used to be the drummer of the pop-punk outfit judge nothing, whose music tickled your ears during certain episodes of Dawson's Creek and Party of Five (yeah, you watched 'em).
After his band split up in 1997, Dykeman did forensic autopsies for the
Medical Examiner's office in Nashville, Tennessee, while also taking
pre-med classes. These days, he's a full-fledged chiropractor.
But one wonders: had occupational therapy been available to Motley Crue, could it have prevented Nikki Sixx from OD-ing a dozen times, Vince Neil from assaulting all sorts of citizens, Mick Mars from shooting a woman, or Tommy Lee from being himself?
(Answer: No.)
More Judge Nothing info, including a video, here.