Slapped Upside the Fed

Nov 9, 2006 at 5:33 pm

SCK has impeccable timing.

It's been a hellacious week for Kevin Federline , the flailing emcee whose suddenly hot-again wife, Britney Spears, announced she was divorcing him via text message earlier this week.

Now, some rappers from the western suburbs have taken him to task for his weak rapping skills...via their own weak rapping skills.

"'Fuck K-Fed' is the working title, but we're thinking of coming up with a more radio-friendly title," says Chris "White Chocolate" Files, who, when he's not doing his best "Average Homeboy" impersonation, works in PR.

He says recording the song was therapeutic for him and buddy Matt "Prateball" Prater, a car salesman, who together form SCK (Saint Charles Killaz).

"We've been fans of hip-hop for a long time, and we couldn't figure out why there's a lack of upper-middle-class rappers," says Files, who calls himself the white Flava Flav . "We were frustrated that we could never make the big time. And then this moocher from Fresno, K-Fed, comes out, and all of the sudden everyone's talking about him. None of the talk is good, but they're still saying his name. So, we figure: Why not become successful off his lack of success?"

They sent lyrics for their proposed dis track to the MJ Morning Show , and MJ was so impressed that he invited the guys to record the song at Clear Channel's local studios on Tuesday night.

The timing was impeccable.

"They'd just hit the news with the divorce, and we re-wrote the whole song in Clear Channel's parking lot," Files says.

MJ has played the song twice so far, and Files says the group's MySpace page is blowing up. That may be a slight exaggeration, since they only had 15 friends at blog-time, but the guys, who have recorded only one other song besides "Fuck K-Fed," believe nonetheless that their rap careers will someday dwarf Federline's.

"You gotta believe in yourself," Files philosophizes. "I haven't been home to check my answering machine in five hours; I'm sure it's full of messages from record companies."

-Ben Westhoff