St. Louis Craigslist Musician Post of the Week: Why Does Your Band Suck?

Nov 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm

(Welcome to a recurring feature on A to Z: The Craiglist Musician Post of the Week. Associates and friends keep sending me links to funny and/or bizarre listings -- ones that deserve to be shared with the world.)

Why is St. Louis' original music scene perceived as weak? Well, the author of "St. Louis Original Scene (In The Pocket)" has the answers:

The fact is that St. Louis' original bands suck. Entirely too many young kiddies who don't bother to take the time to understand and study music. You think all you have to do is wear weird clothes, get a strange sound out of a cheaply made "axe" and by God you are an ARTIST! I realize that studying harmony, rhythm, scales, the circle of fifths, melodic voicing, etc. is time consuming and all, but there is no shortcut, and no amount of stupid band names like the Boiling Eyeballs is going to distract people from the fact that you have no musical integrity.

But that's not all:

Nobody wants to hear your death/thrash/scream metal mashed up bullshit, except for a few high school kids with black fingernails who don;t have two dimes to rub together to support your "project." Whether it's St. Louis or East BF, if your music is pleasing and has integrity, people will listen, and support it with their time and money. If your music is nothing but a bunch of mashed up noise with juvenile angry young man brooding "lyrics" people aren't going to give you the time of day.

The post goes on to coin the phrase "puke-metal." Well played, sir/madam.