Ten Signs You're Too Old For Coachella

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Kai Flanders/OC Weekly
6. You Wouldn't Camp for Coachella Again Even If They Paid You Remember when you said anyone who didn't camp was a poser and missed the point of the real Coachella experience? Then remember when you started missing air conditioning, showers, privacy, quiet time and a bed? Yeah, that was the day you became too old for this shit.

5. You Think EDM Acts Should Stay Confined to the Sahara Tent "Why is Girl Talk on the main stage? I mean, I get he's popular, but shouldn't the main stage be for real bands?" If you thought this this year, you're not wrong, but you're in the minority and therefore old. Save for a few transcendent electronic-based acts, DJs and EDM artists and their raver fans (remember when you could call them that?) stuck to the Sahara Tent. Recall the sideways glances you'd give to the kids rolling balls in that far corner of the Polo Fields? Well, now the roles have reversed and they're doing the same to your favorite bands.

"I said 'Slag off!'"

4. Pool Parties and After-Parties First, Music Festival Second "You've changed man...It used to be about the music."

3. You Don't Show Up Until Sundown As each year goes by, you think of more reasons why to show up to the Polo Fields late, each excuse bringing you later and later. It's hot. You're favorite band doesn't go on until 7 p.m. You can't do those twelve-hour days like you used to. Sure, you spend hundreds of dollars on a ticket, but you can't put a price on AC.

2. You Spend More Time Being Snarky About the Festival on Twitter Than Actually Enjoying It A good sign it's time to retire to Stagecoach.

freeimages.com user MJimages

1. You Just Said Screw It and Enjoyed the Fest From the Comforts of Your Own Couch Instead of being half-naked in the desert drinking $10 beers in 100-degree heat, you're sitting on your couch, fully naked, enjoying blatant bong rips and watching your favorite bands from the front row. If this is what being old is like, sign me up for AARP and get me a Hoveround: This is the shit!


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