The Eight Smoothest Songs of the Seventies

Who wants a silky smooth moustache ride?
Who wants a silky smooth moustache ride?

As fall turns to winter and the hectic holiday season approaches, it is a perfect time to enjoy a quiet moment, either in solitude or with a special someone. No era provides a better soundtrack for such times as the oft-misunderstood and underappreciated 1970's. So, throw another log on the fire, pour a little more Sherry in that snifter and enjoy the smooth, mellow sounds of the 70's with me.

See also: -The Zen of Enjoying "Bad" Music -Michael McDonald's Zenith as a Doobie Brother -Steely Dan tells us about our fetid ratholes in the broad shank of summer

8. "Summer Breeze" - Seals & Croft. Ultimate 70's lyric: "Blowing with the jasmine in my mind"

Think of this as a romantic "We Didn't Start the Fire", as a bucolic Friday evening scene is set in rapid-fire fashion. Never has one been implored to "see the curtains hanging from the window" with such urgency. I have seen this song described in multiple places as a "guilty pleasure". Well, I am here to overturn that verdict. Play this song on your porch in late August with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc and allow your conscience to rest easy, as no crime has been committed.

7. "Sometimes When We Touch" - Dan Hill. Ultimate 70's lyric: "I want to hold you 'till I die, 'till we both break down and cry."

How do you take possibly the cheesiest song of the 70's and pour another layer of melted Velveeta all over it? Make it the favorite of a tonally-challenged Filipino boxing champion. Manny Pacquiao reclaimed this lost gem as his own, singing it everywhere but karaoke night at the Luna Lounge, including on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and eventually released a remake with the help of Hill himself (best 99 cents I ever spent in the iTunes store, by the way). This song is so amazingly and impossibly cheesy, my vegan wife can't listen to it.

6. "Cool Night" - Paul Davis. Ultimate 70's lyric: "I sometimes wonder why all the flowers have to die."

Before there was the booty text, there was the booty call. Preceding that, apparently, was the booty ballad. What on the surface seems to be an invitation for an innocent snuggle by the fire is really nothing more than a desperate plea for one last romantic interlude from an estranged lover. Davis even makes it clear this is not to be a permanent reunion with "if it don't feel right, you can go" (Translation: After it's over, you have ten minutes to get out of here). What a cad.

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