Noah Van Sciver
2. The Talker Everybody hates this self-absorbed jackass, even friends -- or at least they should. Seemingly oblivious to everything and everybody else around, this person is in his/her own universe, a world that the rest of us merely orbit, evidently. Doesn't really matter what's happening on stage. Could be a band playing or a puppet show for all they care. Makes absolutely no difference. They're not here for the music. They're here to drink and hang out. Like it or not, before the night is over, you'll know entirely too much about this person's life because they simply won't Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Not for you. Not for anybody.
See also: The five new buzzkillers that have been added to the original lineup