By Nate Jackson
Imagine for a moment that your job's sole requirement was to make live bands sound great every night. Pretty awesome right? Late nights, live music, and an endless supply of nightlife encapsulate a typical day at the office. Then after actually doing it for a few minutes you start to realize something: being a sound guy, even a good one, is typically the most thankless job in the entertainment industry. Just ask Doug Siebum. Honing his craft since 2001, the aural engineer has done sound for some pretty big names, including Katy Perry and Coachella, but he still makes his bread and butter at local clubs. And for every night when things run like a dream, there's a night when he probably wishes he could strangle a band with their own ill-functioning guitar cables.
See also: -The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue -The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever
"Sometimes when a band walks in and they're being super demanding, they start requesting stuff and they aren't using the right terminology, you know pretty quickly if they haven't been around. And at that point you're like let me just deal with this and get the night over with," he says. But often times the band is only a slice of the chaos that can really irk a sound man, whether he's working behind the booth or trying to live life a lot more quietly off the clock. With that in mind (and as a follow up to last week's Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender), Siebum was kind enough to share with us a list of the top 15 things that will definitely annoy the shit out of your local sound guy.
15. When a drunk person I don't know wants to stand next to me and talk to me the whole time I'm working. I have a job to do which requires concentration and me paying attention to what's going on and it's a lot harder for me to hear what's going on in the room when someone is constantly jabbering into one of my ears.
14. When people ask me for a table or try to place a drink order with me. You're talking to the wrong guy.
13. When people expect me to be as excited to be there as they are. Where this might be their every once-in-a-while night on the town, I do this 3 to 7 nights a week every week. Forgive me if I look bored.
12. When people expect me to want to go to a club on my night off. Can we just go someplace quiet and peaceful instead?
11. When random people want to tell me how they think it should sound. They don't know the sound of the room, what the band wants, what the club management or owners want, or about potential noise complaints from neighbors. And really, I do this for a living. If you're not the sound guy that's traveling with the band, keep your amateur opinion to yourself.
