These Beats Supposedly Get You High: We Test Them

Dec 14, 2012 at 2:39 pm

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Marijuana: The definitive element of this track was a loud, low buzzing played over ambient white noise. Overall, it made me extremely relaxed and sort of sleepy. Just like with actual weed, but sans the dry mouth and eventual desire to eat Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

Peyote: By far the most minimal of the audio tracks; the peyote sounded like interstellar-inspired ambient noise with a desert windstorm blowing over the top of it. Again, it didn't feel like drugs, but it was trippy and definitely put my brain in what very much felt like the famed "alpha" state of mental relaxation, which is reputedly the launch point for the development of psychic powers and next level creative prowess. No idea if that's what actual peyote is like.

Orgasm: As with the "ecstasy," it was difficult to ascertain if the beats were actually manipulating my brainwaves or if it was the the prolonged sounds of sexual moaning that led to feelings of general arousal. In any case, I fell asleep just after this track was finished, so go figure.

Conclusion: While binaural beats are cheaper, safer and easier to get than real drugs, they definitely don't get you high the same way. They did, however, facilitate real feelings of meditative calm with periods of overt sexiness and overall clearheadedness, which can be part of drug experiences. Plus each track can be played over and over, making it so that you won't have to page your dealer desperately at 4 am anymore.

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