Getting your celebrity gossip from "TMZ" is soooooo 2009, dude. Each Thursday in "Twitter Litter," RFT Music rounds up the week's best meltdowns, ego battles and WTFness from rockers, rappers and DJs who aren't afraid of a little hashtag action. It's time to take out the trash.
When you open yourself up to teh Twitterz, there's a risk that someone will find you powerful or amusing enough to devote a parody account to you. St. Louis Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon, the "Nomi Malone" character from Showgirls and even RFT editor in chief Tom Finkel have experienced the curse of the double (via @fakemikeshannon, @realnomimalone and @realtfink, respectively). We get it; imitation is the highest form of flattery and all that jazz. But sometimes the worship is a little crazier than that, isn't it -- especially when celebrities mock other celebrities for a spell? Just look at Diplo:
Diplo (@diplo) apparently has decided that he'd like to be Beyonce when he grows up. The DJ has taken Bey's name for his Twitter profile and has been talking up the vegetable that dancers seem to love:
why did i buy this 25 pound bag of carrots— beyonce knowles (@diplo) August 6, 2013
Well, carrots certainly are one way to keep Beyonce's mile-long legs in shape, so we'll confess to believing for .075 seconds that Bey really did say this. Diplo's next tweet, though... well...
If u really wanna lose weight walk around your house naked all day I promise u ain't gonna eat much— beyonce knowles (@diplo) August 6, 2013
Come on, Diplo, Beyonce's not going to stumble naked through her mansion when she's clearly buying clothes and accessories from Target.
We at RFT Music are suckers for smarties, and Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) of the Mountain Goats and Superchunk doesn't let us down:
Teenaged supermarket employee said to me: "You can leave those bags there if you wish." Told him I want to ask out his English teacher.— Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) August 7, 2013
Is there anything hotter than a guy who appreciates good grammar? No, there is not.
SHUT UP! NO, THERE IS NOT!
Everyone has a hard-on for Ke$ha's (@keshasuxx) favorite piece of jewelry, and our cherished AutoTuned weirdo shows her excitement with hearts:
Don't tell anyone, but we can't wait to wear Ke$ha's penis around our neck: