Various Artists

Snakes on a Plane: The Album (Decaydance/New Line)

Aug 23, 2006 at 4:00 am
Get these motherfucking emo bands off this motherfucking album. No, really — get these motherfucking emo bands off this motherfucking album. The soundtrack accompanying what's arguably the year's most-anticipated cheese-horror flick is a giant mess — namely because it's full of pounding, stuttering dance remixes of songs by new-punk kingpins such as Panic! At the Disco, the Academy Is... and Fall Out Boy. Perhaps teens who spend afternoons perfecting a MySpace pout might twirl around their bedroom to a HI-NRG version of Jack's Mannequin's "Bruise," or groove to the hip-hop cool of Gym Class Heroes' "New Friend Request" (which is about, uh, MySpace). But these alternate versions don't improve on the originals — nor are they interesting on their own merits. Only Cee-Lo Green's catchy (and very Gnarls Barkley-esque) "Ophidiophobia" and a surprisingly delicate acoustic version of Coheed & Cambria's "Wake Up" feel at all fresh. Otherwise, save your pennies for the booze you know you're going to sneak into a midnight showing of the film.