We Test the ICP "Juggalo Locator" App, for the Sake of Journalism

Feb 28, 2013 at 7:00 am

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While perusing Insane Clown Posse's Twitter timeline, like a person does, I came across something interesting: our favorite rap clowns announced a new update to their official smartphone app, which I didn't even know existed. For the advancement of pop journalism and human knowledge in general, I hereby volunteer to investigate.

See Also: -Juggalobook.com: Social Networking for Wicked Clowns

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The ICP app carries a steep price tag of $1.99, but it promises to "blow your mind with exclusive content not available anywhere else." I admit that this story nearly ended here, but my deep commitment to the truth compelled me to bear the considerable expense. Plus, I can probably write it off on my taxes or hit The Voice up for an envelope full of nickels.

The iTunes app page has a long list of fairly tame parental advisories, but I decided to proceed anyway. It warns of "infrequent/mild horror," which nicely sums up the experience of occasionally remembering that ICP exists (it also warns of "mature" themes, but I'm skeptical about that one).

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Considering the tremendous number of ICP fans in the world, it's strange that the app has only one review on iTunes. It might mean that freedom-loving Juggalos prefer the openness of the Android platform, or maybe price tag cuts a little too deep. That's like twelve bottles of Faygo.

Apple made me confirm all my credit card details when I tried to purchase the ICP app. I guess it set off some flags; maybe it's like when your bank calls you and says, "Hey, someone in Atlanta just tried to buy a bag of Cheetos and $50 worth of scratcher tickets with your card." They didn't believe it was really me.

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Upon starting the app, I was confronted with a permissions badge. Being a fearless journalist willing to risk my personal safety for the benefit of a story, I tapped "OK." I also gave them permission to access my current location. The Insane Clown Posse knows where I am right now.