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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Ten Most Cringe-Worthy Celebrity Vocal Duets

Posted By on Wed, Jun 15, 2011 at 12:35 PM

  • The soon to be collaborating Voices. Courtesy of NBC

Oh great. The judges/coaches from NBC's hit karaoke tournament vocal competition "The Voice" are going to collaborate. Specifically, Maroon 5, led by slightly soulful popster Adam Levine will be joined by Christina Aguilera to perform their new single "Moves Like Jagger" on the June 21 episode of the show. This seems like an authentic pairing and not a publicity ploy for the show, don't you think?

Not that Levine and Aguilera are the first to seize a momentary fad and duet the hell out of it. Or attempt to revive fledgeling careers with a superstar pairing. The results are rarely pretty. Here's a look at the most insidious, contrived, and downright horrible vocal collaborations we wish we'd never heard.

10. "Cruisin'" - Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow (2000) Good lord, why have we been allowing Paltrow to sing for a whole decade? This chunk of schlock from the 2000 film Duets should have been enough to stop Paltrow from her current stomp through all things musical. If we as listeners accept Gwyneth and Huey Lewis as a karaokeing father and daughter demolishing a Smokey Robinson song in which they promise their relationship isn't just a one-night stand, then we as a society don't deserve nice things. Like Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell duets.

9. "I've Got You Under My Skin" - Frank Sinatra and Bono (1993) Are they singing the same song? And is Bono stalking Frank? A sweet little classic ditty is no match for two of music's biggest egos ever.

8.. "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" - Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson (1984) If there's a better way to introduce a suave Spanish crooner to unrefined Americans than pairing him with Willie Nelson, we sure as shit don't know what it is. Waylon Jennings was offered the part first, but cracked an empty Evan Williams bottle over the PR asshole's head before he'd finished asking.

7. "Whatzupwitu" - Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy (1993) The 1990s were not kind to Michael Jackson or Eddie Murphy. Both had started their downhill slide from '80s glory. And then there was all that business with child molestation trials and arrests for picking up transvestite prostitutes. Both superstars needed a boost. This wasn't it.

6. "Something Stupid" - Nicole Kidman and Robbie Williams (2001) Nicole Kidman was fresh off proving she could sing in 2000's Moulin Rouge. Hey! Let's capitalize on that new-found skill and make a record! While Kidman's vocals are better than Paltrow's, and this song became Robbie Williams' first UK number one single, it conjures up memories of an earlier version by Frank Sinatra and his daughter Nancy singing the romantic date song. Which is creepier than the video where Robbie Williams ribbed off his skin and muscles.

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