Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Six Gayest Songs That Might Be On Chick-Fil-A COO Dan Cathy's iPod

Posted By on Tue, Aug 7, 2012 at 9:49 AM


Chick-Fil-A Chief Operating Officer Dan Cathy made controversial statements recently in defense of marriage - which is Conservative speak for "anti-gay." But if he ever listens to music that isn't made by Michael W. Smith or Steven Curtis Chapman, he probably runs into - and unknowingly enjoys - songs dripping with homosexuality. Here are the six gayest songs that might be on Dan Cathy's iPod. Feel free to leave comments about the following topics: a) your favorite secretly gay popular songs, b) your opinion of this ongoing scandal, and/or c) why the hell is there a pickle on those sandwiches? I mean, I love pickles, but it's just weird.

6. The Who - "I'm A Boy" I'm a Boy by The Who on Grooveshark This Easter egg in the Who's catalog is about gender identity. The narrator is raised like a girl and constantly has to remind his family that he is, in fact, not. His sisters do girly things to him, dressing him up and doing his hair and makeup. The song turns around the conformity that keeps so many people in the closet, as the protagonist lets his sisters do his hair and makeup and play dress up in order to fit in. "I'm A Boy" was released as a single, but it's far from "Greatest Hits" territory as far as the Who tracks go. But given Dan Cathy's headstrong commitment to his beliefs, if he is a fan of the Who he is likely a completist.

5. The Village People - "In The Navy" In The Navy by Village People on Grooveshark Everybody knows that the Village People is as gay as it gets, but somehow the group is tolerated by the Tea Party demographic (who, by the way, always seems to have an LP of Go West in their collection). "Y.M.C.A." is familiar to all as a wedding staple, but "In The Navy" is gayer. Yet, it makes sense that right wingers would flock to this song if only because of the pro-military stance. They just have to look the other way on the line about "signing up seamen fast."

4. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - "Relax" Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood on Grooveshark Like "In The Navy," Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Relax" makes the gay-o-meter go all the way up to double rainbow. This means its chances of appearing on Dan Cathy's iPod are slim. But, in the event that it snuck onto the device as part of the Zoolander soundtrack, I take great pleasure in imagining the Chick-Fil-A-hole hearing the line "When you want to come" repeated ad nauseum on earbuds.

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