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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

How To Suck The Brains Out Of A Skull: Advice from the Weekend's Real Pig Roast

Posted By on Tue, Sep 4, 2012 at 6:20 AM

Brad "Mort" Munger (left) and John Joern (right) carve the first of two roasted pigs at the Off Broadway Pig Roast on Sunday. - BRIAN HEFFERNAN
  • Brian Heffernan
  • Brad "Mort" Munger (left) and John Joern (right) carve the first of two roasted pigs at the Off Broadway Pig Roast on Sunday.

"You know how a slug feels in your hand?" asks John Kraatz. "It's slimier than that."

Kraatz is, of course, referring to the brain and brainstem of "Norm," the first of two pigs that will be consumed at the Off Broadway Pig Roast on Sunday night. As for how to reach those slimy, succulent morsels, he demonstrates his technique by lifting an imaginary skull, tilting it upright and saying, "There's a hole going up, and you just start sucking. When you can't suck any more, you use a knife." After loosening the stubborn bits with a blade, he says to just start shaking the head and the rest will slide out. Now, reader, you try.

The KSHE (94.7 FM) Pig Roast is also on Sunday. Boston and Kansas will perform; there may or may not be actual pigs roasted (you see, the classic rock station's mascot is a sunglasses-wearing hog). This is not the same kind of event.

When guests begin wandering into the playground-gravel patio of Off Broadway around 6 p.m., there is still a gutted, dead pig splayed out on butcher paper on the table. After the first pig is pulled from the grill, the meat is handed out in ribs before the rest of it is cut, chopped and yanked off the carcass. A whole shin, tender meat nearly falling off, goes to someone in line.

This event, and to some extent each of Off Broadway's summer food-plus-music events (including the Fourth Annual Crawfish Boil and Big Muddy Records Chili Cook-Off) convey a certain spirit of the music scene in South City. "Grit" would be the wrong word in this context, because no one enjoys gritty food. "Transparent," maybe. There is little effort in hiding how everything works or dressing it up to look uniformly slick and smooth-running.

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