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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Six Most Uncool Members Of Cool Bands

Posted By on Tue, Mar 5, 2013 at 7:45 AM

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2. Lee Ranaldo - singer, Sonic Youth

Lee Ranaldo is not on this list because of his guitar playing (which rules) but for his work as a vocalist. Think about your favorite Sonic Youth record. Think about your least favorite songs on it. Think about who sings them. It's Lee Ranaldo. Sonic Youth has never been a vocalist band, but at least Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon can hold their own most of the time. Meanwhile, Ranaldo sings like a slacker beatnik and writes lyrics that would lose his group points in a high school battle of the bands. Most frustrating is that HE RELEASES POETRY BOOKS!


1. Scott Shriner - bassist, Weezer

Weezer was super cool in its initial run with bassist Matt Sharp. The reborn Green Album incarnation with bassist Mikey Welsh had sparkles of potential, but the current lineup (and longest in Weezer's history) with Scott Shriner is consistently pathetic. There are multiple reasons to dislike Shriner. He looks like a mix between "Weird Al" Yankovic, Jonathan Davis from Korn and every sex offender. Rivers Cuomo might have a well-known fetish for young Asian girls, but at least he doesn't look like he does. I have seen Weezer twice since Shriner joined and both times he butchered the bassline to "Only In Dreams," which is heresy. Scott Shriner is a paradox. He is so uncool that he makes Weezer hopelessly uncool as well. But if Weezer was cooler, the band would never hire Shriner. So Shriner might not belong on this list; he may just be the physical embodiment of my old favorite band losing its edge, and I am definitely projecting too much towards him. But as of now, Scott Shriner is the most uncool member of a cool band. At least until Flea joins a band with Thom Yorke or something.

See also: -The Ten Biggest Concert Buzzkills: An Illustrated Guide -Crotching Whiskey at the Justin Bieber Concert and Getting Thrown Out: A Review -The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever -The Ten Worst Music Tattoos Ever

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