Monday, May 6, 2013

Ask A Geto Boy: My Co-Worker's Sewer Breath Makes Me Want to Quit

Posted By on Mon, May 6, 2013 at 6:22 AM

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BLAMING MY WIFE FOR MY DAUGHTER'S DEATH

Dear Willie D:

I am a broken man. Six months ago, my daughter drove her bicycle out the driveway, into the street and was crushed by a car going 40 miles per hour. My wife was supposed to be supervising her, but she was distracted with gardening.

When I heard the noise, I ran out from the living room to my poor baby who was still pinned underneath the car. I kept calling her name, but she was gone, man. My beautiful baby girl was dead at six years old.

Everyone tells me I shouldn't blame my wife, but who else is to blame? The driver was over the speed limit, but if my wife had been paying attention like a responsible mother, none of this would have ever happened. I feel so much pain and loss that the only other emotion keeping me alive is anger.

We have been going to a marriage counselor for the past three months, but it's not helping. She has apologized numerous times, but I can't forgive her. I can't even look at her. I just don't see how a mother could be so careless.

I have contacted a divorce attorney, and I'm thinking about suing her for negligent homicide. Listening to your music taught me how to be a man and a responsible father. Whatever advice you provide will weigh heavily on any decisions I make.

Give it to me straight as always, Willie, and tell me what you would do in my position.

Blaming:

My heartfelt condolences go out to you and your family for your loss. I admire you for your deep love and devotion to your daughter, but you have to let go of the anger, man. Not just for your wife but for yourself because it will consume and destroy you.

Understandably you are grieving, but imagine how she feels knowing that her negligence played a role in her daughter's death? That has got to be a heavy burden to shoulder. Divorce her, take her to court all you want, but I promise you, there is nothing you can do to hurt your wife any more than she is already hurting.

Because it was her daughter too. Nobody in the world can relate to your suffering more than she can. Therefore, she is probably the best person you will find to lean on in these times.

How do you think your daughter would feel about the way you're treating her grieving mother? Do you think she would say, "Yeah, Dad that's it, punish her. Make her feel worse than she already does."

Try not to think of the birthdays, graduations and other milestones in life that you won't get to share with your daughter and look at the cup as half full. You were blessed with six years of wonderful memories of a beautiful little girl. That's more than what some parents can say.

COPING WITH OBNOXIOUS IN-LAWS

Dear Willie D:

I have the most foul-mouthed and disrespectful in-laws on the planet. Whenever my husband, the children and I visit, before we can get through the door, all you hear is bad language being spewed about. They have no respect for children or the elderly. The last time we visited, my husband's brother and his uncle almost came to blows because his brother took a beer from the refrigerator without asking permission.

I recently learned that they don't like me because I'm, as they put it, snobby. I never allow my children to spend the night at their homes, and we only visit on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I want my children to have a relationship with their paternal family but I'm afraid for their safety. Any ideas on how to deal with this family calamity?

Coping:

You are doing a fantastic job as a mother. The best thing you can do is to continue limiting your kids' exposure to their father's rotten family tree. Your first obligation is for the welfare of your children not the feelings of your in-laws. If they don't like it, tell them to act like Charlie Brown and kick rocks! They'll live.

Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back soon for more of his best answers.

See also: -Ten Bands You Never Would Have Thought Used to Be Good -The Ten Biggest Concert Buzzkills: An Illustrated Guide -The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever -The Ten Worst Music Tattoos Ever

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