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Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Six Ridiculous Titular Movie Themes

Posted By on Tue, Jul 2, 2013 at 7:01 AM


As I've mentioned before in these articles, I have this rotten brain that memorizes only the most irrelevant crap and discards the most meaningful things. Peoples' names and birthdays escape me, but I can sit and tell you that Richard Belzer from Law & Order: SVU has a comedy record called Another Lone Nut. This week, I'm going to employ the area of my brain that I keep trying to obliterate with copious amounts of reposado tequila: The one that remembers songs from movies wherein the name of the movie is a part of the lyrics. Sadly, I could not find a clip to force you to listen to the most torturous of them all: The song from the 1985 horror film, The Stuff. "One taste is never enough....of THE STUFF!"

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6. Mitchell (1975)

Careful when you click this one -- it's a safe-for-work "sex scene" but your skull may implode over the awkwardness of it. This is a demented song for a demented movie that sounds like Leon Redbone if he had suffered a brain injury. The movie Mitchell, about an alcoholic cop, is probably best known at this point for being the subject of intense ridicule from the brilliant show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. In it, they spend about two hours calling the main actor an overweight, greasy, slob. According to legend, the actor Joe Don Baker stated that he would beat up the writers of the show if he could.

Best Lyric: Oh my, my, my, my Mitchell / shoot 'em just to get 'em in jail. (There may be a better lyric about catching criminals faster than a greased-up loon, but I couldn't listen to the whole thing.)

5. Ben (1971)

Michael Jackson's first U.S. chart topper was a song about being friends with a murderous rat. The movie it was written for also won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Academy Award. And that movie, Ben, was actually a sequel to the movie Willard, one of my father's favorites. Willard was remade in 2003 with legendary weirdo Crispin Hellion Glover, otherwise known as George McFly from Back to the Future. And I guess there's a version of him singing the damn song, too, but be advised: The video features scantily clad women covering Glover and groping rats.

Best Lyric: None. They're all pretty stupid and generic and disappointingly don't make mention of telepathic rats killing anyone.

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