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Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Six Most Badass Musicians from Outer Freakin' Space

Posted By on Thu, Sep 19, 2013 at 7:01 AM

THOMAS CLAVEIROLE
  • Thomas Claveirole

Recently, I stopped drinking alcohol for a few weeks due to a severe case of "turning into a tremendously fat man." Attending / eating at the Gathering of the Juggalos essentially ruined my metabolism, which now runs off of warm beer and chocolate-covered waffles. As a result, I've been compensating by drinking cold press coffee -- a dark, sludgy substance that resembles the loneliness of space. It makes me feel like my brain is made out of tiny shimmering stars. Anyway, in order to keep with the theme of how distant and out of it I'm feeling, I'm doling out a six-sized list of artists from OUTER SPACE.

See Also: Six Perfect Songs for Getting People to Leave

6. The Jonzun Crew

Michael Jonzun and Maurice Starr became well-known for their work as executive producers in the '80s. But before they were ruining the precious bare walls of teenyboppers with posters of New Edition (Jonzun and Starr actually wrote "Candy Girl") and New Kids on the Block, they were the Jonzun Crew. Blasting through space and bad taste through the use of catchy electro sounds, futuristic blue-screen effects and spandex laser-tag outfits, the group completely KILLED IT on tracks like "Space Cowboy" and "We Are The Jonzun Crew." If those songs somehow don't win you over, perhaps knowing that there was a member of the group named "Captain Fingers" will seal the cosmic deal for you.

5. Vondur

Formed in the mid-nineties, Sweden's national treasure Vondur initially played black metal. Then the band played intergalactic space rock, covering Elvis and Motley Crue. Vondur has some Star Wars themed album art on the cover of its album, Stridsyfirlysing, which oddly enough was designed by Stephen O'Malley from drone-outfit Sunn 0))). Vondur's elusive members, IT and ALL, also recorded a record under the name Abruptum -- infamous in the underground metal world for supposedly being a recording consisting of them physically torturing one another. On Vondur's Myspace page, they claim the only live shows they ever played were the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Um, alright then.

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