Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Six Terribly Upsetting (and Erotic) Musical Fan-Fiction Stories, Illustrated

Posted By on Tue, Oct 29, 2013 at 9:03 AM

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DAVE WATT
  • Dave Watt

4. Carlos Santana: "The Carlos Santana Operation"

Predictably, "The Carlos Santana Operation" follows the story of a Mexican bandit by the name of Carlos Santana and the hilarity that ensues when one has the same name as the asshole that is 50 percent responsible for inflicting the song "Smooth" on all of us. (Rob Thomas, you are not off the hook.) And although it burns part of my soul to write the words "good" and "Santana" in the same sentence, it is necessary to explain the plot:

The "bad" Santana is performing the "good" Santana's songs in nightclubs, so the "good" guitarist (UGH) decides to clear his name by challenging the evil one to a duel. The "good" Santana (it hurts every time) gets abducted and then inexplicably faces a forced homosexual marriage to the "bad" Santana's cousin, Victor. The only possible explanation to this offensive tidbit is that this fan fiction story is also based on the 2007 hick movie Delta Farce, a film starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and actor DJ Qualls.

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