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Thursday, January 2, 2014

36 New Year's Resolutions for an Awful Music Journalist

Posted By on Thu, Jan 2, 2014 at 5:40 AM

Page 3 of 3

25. Remind people of the amazing Nickelback parody video seen above more often 26. Stop wishing every member of Def Leppard lost all of their arms whenever "Pour Some Sugar On Me" comes on 27. Stop thinking of people who walk into coffee shops holding acoustic guitars in the same way as a right-wing Christian thinks of an Arab man boarding an airplane 28. Convince more people that I believe The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a book about getting free socks and lunchmeat trays from being in the Wallflowers 29. Get facial tattoos to resemble Dave Navarro's facial hair

My girlfriend would like that one too. Probably. - PRESS PHOTO
  • Press Photo
  • My girlfriend would like that one too. Probably.

30. Petition companies to stop testing on animals and start testing on Dave Navarro 31. Become a bartender and mistake the term "hair of the dog" with "Temple of the Dog" over and over again 32. Petition Black Sabbath to redo an entire record with Gilbert Gottfried on vocals 33. Quit calling her Carly Rae Jetson just to piss off my friend's little sister 34. Figure out what the best Unblack Metal bands are 35. Carry a boombox that only plays Killed By Death by Motorhead 36. Write more lists, forever


The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever "Where Did My Dick Go?" The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations I Pissed Off Megadeth This Week, My (Former) Favorite Band The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue

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